HomeI don’t understand why I can’t just push through this, why I feel trapped in my skin, or why it is a struggle to move the mouse around and click on things to do work and why it takes ten minutes to type one f’ing sentence.
I had an anxiety attack on Monday at work and now I am embarrassed that both my Supervisor and Manager witnessed it and afterwards as I told my Supervisor today I feel embarrassed and like a drama queen. I begin to question and doubt myself on whether these are attention seeking behaviours or real emotions. They feel pretty real at the time but afterwards I just don’t understand myself or how someone like me can be so weak. I know others would tell me it isn’t me being weak but it sure feels like it after.
I am normally a strong person and feel good about who I am but this shit makes me feel like a two year old.
It makes me worry about my job security which makes it even more frustrating that I can’t just push through it.
I have a lot of compassion for others but sometimes I just can’t feel it for myself. My life isn’t even that hard compared to others who live in opressed societies.
I feel like a failure.